This scares me.
When I first started looking into my son’s symptoms, I too read many stories of similar kids, but unlike our life, their stories contained outrageous accounts of challenges brought on by their child’s illness. Some were accounts of having to call the police on their own child during a rage, others experienced great pain as their child was admitted into the hospital (which by the way, unlike other hospitalizations, children with mental health issues are admitted into the hospital alone without their parents by their side). There were stories of children grabbing knives, attempting suicide, committing crimes and physically abusing their families during a rage. I could go on and on, but honestly, it’s bringing me down. What also was alarming was that these stories were not one of a kind, they were parent after parent reporting the same similar nightmares.
At the time, even though things were very hard, they were never that bad. But as I’ve learned over the course of this past year, mental illness is unpredictable and unfortunately we too have gone through some of those outrageous events that were once something I only read about.
So getting back to that post I read today, it got me thinking about what will happen in our future. Will things continue to get worse, will we experience the unimaginable in the years ahead? Will I be the same person I am today? Will my precious son be ok? I know I shouldn’t worry about tomorrow, but tonight I’m feeling scared of what’s to come and if I had a crystal ball, I don’t think I’d want to look.