It made me wonder, can we really take credit for good kids? I have first hand experience that kids can be born this way. I happen to have one of those “good kids” in my middle son, he’s a star student, very caring, respectful and responsible. He asks for forgiveness when he does something wrong and feels sincere remorse when he does. He was my only child to take naps, eat the food off his plate, sleep through the night and do his homework independently without ever complaining. I can’t even remember the last time he got a timeout.
Now this son of mine is not a perfect child, he has his own faults like we all do, but I can say that he’s an easy child to raise. Had this been my only child, I would’ve thought that I was an amazing parent, that my parenting techniques were exceptional and that I had mastered this thing called “parenting”. But I can honestly say that this is not the case. I’m like most parents who are doing their best, making mistakes along the way, who happens to have a child, created by God to be easy going.
This year at open house when I met my son’s teacher, I was pulled aside. At first I thought... Oh no, what happened. You see, most communication with the school staff had been uncomfortable due to the challenges we faced stabilizing his older brother’s meds. But to my pleasant surprise, his teacher began praising me, so much so I was a little embarrassed. She said that she just had to meet me because I was raising an amazing child and was so impressed and wanted to know what I was doing to raise such a special child.
I had to laugh.
First, I will admit that it felt nice to be the parent receiving praises after so many negative experiences with his older brother acting out. But I was laughing because I knew that I couldn’t take any credit for this child. He is who he is.
If you spend any time in my home, you’ll see that our kids are wired to be who they are. I really think that there’s a lot more “nature” involved in who we are then “nurture”. Now don’t get me wrong, I really value good parenting and believe it’s very important, but I have an unusual perspective showing me that our kids are uniquely themselves. So for all those parents of “easy” children, be careful how you judge us parents who are in the midst of a nuclear meltdown, don’t be so quick to judge, maybe in our shoes, with your top notch parenting techniques, you’d be experiencing the same breakdown. We need to be kind to one another and instead of measuring our value as a parent based on how our child acts, we should just celebrate who they are.
* * *
Article from the Today Show website: