Tonight my oldest was triggered by stress from an earlier play date and his youngest brother having multiple meltdowns (his worst ever).
It all started when my oldest son bit his brother, from there things escalated to the point where I had to lock him outside of our home. But once he was outside he picked up our heavy patio furniture and began slamming it into the sliding glass door over and over. With each slam, I grew more terrified it was going to smash through and injury him, yet I knew he wasn’t safe to let inside. As I tried to warn him about the glass, he flipped me off with his middle finger, before once again slamming the glass. As the situation continued, he moved around the house, pounding doors and ringing our door bell non-stop. I found my youngest son hiding in the closet sobbing and terrified of his brother, who at the time, wasn’t acting like his brother.
I felt my body triggered back to a state that’s all too familiar. My heart was pounding and I was scared, scared of my own son. Once he was back inside, I could tell he still wasn’t himself. He was pacing, looking for something to destroy. At one point he was carrying the Playstation over his head, taunting me with threats to destroy it. When I asked him what he was doing, he would say in a sarcastic tone, “I don’t know.” He seemed to be enjoying the power he had over me, he could tell I was afraid.
And I was. I was scared because I didn’t know what he was going to do next. I felt responsible for keeping everyone safe, yet I didn’t know how to stop this spell over him.
I felt helpless.
After pulling a guitar sting off of a broken guitar, he walked around whipping it until I grabbed him and brought him to the ground. From there I held him in place. Thankfully not much longer my husband called and was able to coach him to the shower. He gave him the choice. “Get in the shower to calm down, or we’re going to call the police and have you brought to the hospital.”
He got in the shower.
From there I was able to give him his melatonin which slowly wound him down. He even wrote a note to his brother apologizing and expressing his love—all on his own. Thirty minutes later, I was tucking him into bed with his prayers like every other night.
Then I cried my eyes out.
Lord help me get through the summer...