Saturday, August 15, 2015
This is the last weekend of Summer and over the previous weeks I have seen a huge increase in my youngest son’s anxiety. I know he hates school and it triggers a lot of stress and anxiety but what I didn’t expect was how it would reveal itself.
Instead of fretting about school, he becomes hyper-focused on his new fear of “creepy bugs” and will even refuse to swim at the community pool to avoid their possible appearance in the water. Right now it’s past 11 pm at night and he’s still trying to go to sleep after my numerous attempts to calm him since he’s scared because the house is “too quiet and dark.” A few days ago he was very anxious and upset about the possibility of the sun exploding years from now and hurting not his own children, but his children’s children.
A few weeks ago I had to hold him down on the floor in a Target when we tried to buy school supplies. He became so upset over the whole event that he began kicking surrounding objects and unfortunately a stranger’s shopping cart.
As much as we are prepared for the start of school, I can only do so much to help my son with this challenging transition. Last year he faced multiple trips to the office and a suspension as he tried to adjust to school. This year I’m trying to get the school to provide extra support through the school psychologist, but due to cutbacks, she will have limited time on campus and may only have time for testing kids, not providing emotional support.
Which if you asked me, seems kind of strange. Shouldn’t the district provide enough hours to do more than testing kids, but actually helping them once they demonstrate their need for support? I’m thankful to have an IEP for my youngest, something I was never able to get with my oldest, but I know the principal can only do so much until I have to fight the district.
I’m not much for fighting these days. With the stress of my husband being out of work, and the added hours I’m taking on to earn more income with my home business, it leaves little time to fight administration.
I’ve also noticed that as my son grows older and enters the 5th grade, he’s becoming more aware of his differences due to his autism. He is already expressing concern about how the other kids will react to him when he prefers to walk alone playing video games in his head during recess. He’s worried the other kids will think he doesn’t like them. He also has expressed concerns about making friends and being accepted. I know as he goes through the coming years, he will face more of these challenges as the kids around him mature and become less accepting of differences in general.
I wish I could rescue him from his anxiety, I know all too well as I face my own anxious thoughts how hard it can be to remain positive when under stress. We are both working on “being the boss of our thoughts” and replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts, but as my son said tonight, “some nights it’s pretty hard to do.”